


speechless - the walking dead

by vacantpool (orphan_account)



Series: speechless - the walking dead [1]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Major Character Injury, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Survival Training, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 09:47:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25468774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/vacantpool
Summary: She never talked - not until he came around.This fic is also on my Wattpad @vacantpool !I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD TV SHOW OR COMIC SERIES. THE ONLY CHARACTER I OWN IS MARY CARLSON, DAN CARLSON, AND ALLIE CARLSON. I DO NOT TAKE CREDIT FOR THE PLOT, THE SCRIPT, OR THE CHARACTERS. THIS IS A PIECE OF FICTION WITH SOME INACCURATE LORE.
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character(s)
Series: speechless - the walking dead [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1844809
Comments: 7
Kudos: 24





	1. .cast.

**Author's Note:**

> stay alive.

**NORMAN REEDUS AS DARYL DIXON**

_"You don't know what I've been through, girl. You don't. So don't come to try and comfort me like some sort of therapy dog."_

**SARAH WAYNE CALLIES AS LORI GRIMES**

_"I didn't give birth to you, but you sure as hell are my daughter, and I'll protect you like you're my daughter."_

**ANDREW LINCOLN AS RICK GRIMES**

_"You can't just run off whenever you please! You're my responsibility now, whether you like it or not, I am your father!"_

**CHANDLER RIGGS AS CARL GRIMES**

_"If either of us becomes one of those things, let's make a pact. I get you and you get me."_

**MELISSA MCBRIDE AS CAROL PELETIER**

_"I've never seen you look at anyone like you look at that boy."_

**JON BERNTHAL AS SHANE WALSH**

_"You can only fend for yourself, you hear me? Don't worry about anyone else."_

**STEVEN YEUN AS GLENN RHEE**

_"You're the quietest, but you're also sure as shit the smartest."_

**JEFFEREY DEMUNN AS DALE HORVATH**

_"I'm no expert on anxiety, but I don't think anyone can tell you how to deal with it. That's on you."_

**IRONE SINGLETON AS T-DOG**

_"You're the zen of this group, and we're not gonna lose you anytime soon, got that mute-Mary?"_


	2. .soundtrack.

**INTO THE WOODS SOMEWHERE - HOZIER**

_a woman's voice; i quickly ran into the trees with empty hands. a fox it was, he shook, afraid. i spoke no words, no sound he made._

**BY THE WAY - RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS**

_standing in line to see the show tonight and there's a light on, heavy glow. by the way i tried to say i'd be there, waiting for._

**IN THE AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA - NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL**

_and one day we will die and our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea. but for now we are young, let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we see. love to be in the arms of all I'm keeping here with me._

**CEMETRY GATES - THE SMITHS**

_so we go inside and we gravely read the stones. all those people, all those lives, where are they now? with loves, and hates, and passions just like mine, they were born, and then they lived, and then they die. it seems so unfair, i want to cry._

**BEFORE THE WORLD WAS BIG - GIRLPOOL**

_7:45 in the morning, I'm leaving my house. trying not to think of all the ways this place has changed. walked around my neighbourhood, one hundred, one million, billion, trillion times._

**OH ANA - MOTHER MOTHER**

_I'll play God today. ante up and play that God a poker game. walk away with all our God's spare change. playing this God it can't be good for ana's safety, ana hear me. oh ana, I'll be with you still. you are the angel that i couldn't kill._

**AS THE WORLD CAVES IN - MATT MALTESE**

_and here it is, our final night alive. and as the earth runs into the ground, oh girl it's you that i lie with, as the atom bomb locks in, oh, it's you i watch TV with, as the world, as the world caves in._

**EXIT MUSIC (FOR A FILM) - RADIOHEAD**

_breathe, keep breathing. don't lose your nerve. breathe, keep breathing. i can't do this alone. sing us a song to keep us warm. there's such a chill, such a chill._

**LAKE OF FIRE - NIRVANA**

_where do bad folks go when they die? they don't go to heaven where the angels fly. they go to a lake of fire and fry. won't see 'em again till the fourth of July._

**ARSONIST'S LULLABY - HOZIER**

_all you have is your fire and the place you need to reach. don't you ever tame your demons, but always keep 'em on a leash._


	3. .prologue.

How could things change so quickly? 

Things always happened fast for Mary, even if she was too young to notice.

Her mother dying in a crash when she was two, her father dying from cancer when she was five. But she was never alone. She had Lori, and then, four years later, she had Rick. Two years later, Carl came into her life. Her family had been rebuilt, almost like she had been there the whole time.

Why is why it was so surprising when she was told her stepfather was dead. It was a surprise when she watched her neighbor take a bite out of her young daughter's neck. She barely had time to react before Rick's work partner, Shane, was pushing her into his car with her stepmother and stepbrother, and they were driving away. 

It had happened in twenty minutes. Twenty minutes for her life to turn upside down once again. Twenty minutes for her stepmother to be sobbing in the passenger seat of the car as Shane screamed at an interstate that just _would not move,_ and it was getting dark. 

People were sick. Mary didn't know what it was, they just were.

The radios were down, the phones, the television stations.

She didn't know what to say, but it wasn't like she could say anything anyway.

Mary reached into her back pocket, pulling out her pad and pencil that she always had with her. She flipped through the pages of conversation and scribbled something down. Once it was up, she held it so that Shane could glance at it from the driver's seat.

**WHERE ARE WE GOING?**

"I don't know, Mary. I don't know yet." He looked back at her with dark eyes. "I'm hoping a military base. Maybe get some supplies at the police station to keep us safe."

She took the notepad back. They were barely moving in the interstate, cars upon cars lining up in the road. She shook her head, turning a page and writing another note.

**WE SHOULD GET OUT. LOOK AROUND.**

"It is REALLY not a good day for you to be mute, Mary!" Shane's voice raised, and she jumped, the pad flying out of her hand and into her stepmother's lap. Lori looked down, reading the message. She nodded, looking out into the array of cars that were stuck in traffic. It was completely dark now.

"No, she's right, Shane. We need to get out, let Carl stretch his legs, see if anyone knows anything."

Shane's fingers tapped against the wheel of the car, and he nodded clenching his jaw. He turned back to the twenty-one and twelve-year-old in the backseat.

"You two stay within sight. I see you even fifty feet away from this goddamn car and I'll drag you back here and lock you in."

The stepsiblings nodded, each eagerly getting out of the car.

Once they were out of the car, Lori made acquaintance with the family in front, a mother with short grey hair, and an older, heavier set man, a cigarette in between his lips. A young girl stood in between them. 

"Have you heard anything on a radio?" Lori asked the family, crossing her arms.

"No, we haven't." The woman responded, pulling open the back of their minivan and grabbing a blanket for her daughter. Helicopters flew above their heads, and Mary looked up at them, squinting at their bright lights.

"Are we gonna go soon?" The little girl asked her mother, and Carol shrugged.

"I don't know, baby, I sure hope so."

"I'm hungry." Was what Carl retorted to as Lori slid onto the hood of Shane's car.

"I know Carl, we all are." 

The woman turned to look at Carl, who had started to draw a picture in Mary's notepad. She smiled at him and moved to the side of the car.

"You know, why don't I get him somethin' to eat? Ed's into all this survival stuff, we've got enough MRE's to feed a small army. I'm Carol, by the way. This is Sophia." She pointed to her young daughter. Lori slid off of the car. 

"I'd sure appreciate it."

"No trouble."

Mary felt nauseous, like she would be unable to at anything at all. She turned, looking out into the trees next to the interstate. Loud booms were sounding off in the distance toward the city, like bombs. She could hear screaming, sobbing, and even the sound of people puking inside of their cars. Her hands began to shake and she felt tears fall down her face. 

The city she loved was dead.

More than anything, she wished for Rick at that moment. Not her father, not her mother, but her stepfather. He would know what to do, he would hold her like she was his own.

Shane had returned to the car with Lori, who had been hysterical. She was sobbing into his shirt, her hair in disarray. The moment she saw Carl again, she ran to him, wrapping her arms around him as tight as she could.

Shane, once he had seen how terrified Mary was, had grabbed her, whispering how it was going to be okay. She didn't believe him. The words meant nothing as the booms continued. This was the apocalypse, she realized, and that nothing would save them now. All she had in the back of Shane's car was photo albums, bags of random clothing, and a fencing sword from her competitions. 

She realized something as they looked around at the people whose lives were ruined around her.

They were going to need to make some friends.


	4. .one.

_"What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go over the cliff - I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them. Tha's all I'd do all day. I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy."_

_\- J.D. Salinger - Catcher in the Rye_

**FOUR MONTHS FROM THE OUTBREAK IN ATLANTA**

"The..."

"Come on, you can do it."

"The quick brown fox... jumps over... over..."

"Yeah... breathe, sweetie. You've got this."

"Jumps over the lazy dog."

"Good!" 

Lori's smile flashed to her stepdaughter's face. The sound of the brook in front of them drowned out Mary's laugh, but for the first time in a while, she was smiling. It was all a mother could hope for. "It feels so good to hear your voice." Lori kissed her temple and rubbed her back. "Think you could try in front of the others?" 

Mary shivered and shook her head a bit, suddenly losing the ability to vocalize once more as her anxiety rose. Lori nodded, looking down at the leaves below them. 

"That's alright, baby. That's okay. Take your time. Let's get back to the group." 

Mary and her stepmother walked hand in hand back up to the camp that had been set up just outside of the city of Atlanta. Since the outbreak of walkers had started, Shane had offered to create a small community to a few families that people could stick together and have each other's back. 

There were plenty in the community to carry the weight of their new responsibilities. 

The Morales family consisted of two parents and two kids. The parents, along with Jacqui, T-Dog, Glenn, and Merle ran supplies. Merle's brother Daryl hunted in the woods surrounding the camp, while two sisters Andrea and Amy were almost experts at fishing. Dale, an older gentleman who owned his own RV, took turns with everyone, keeping a lookout for the walkers on top of it. He had a friend, Jim, who could fix anything. Carol, along with the rest of the women in the group cooked and did laundry, while her husband didn't do much of anything.

Mary could sew clothes and shoes, clean guns, patrol, and sharpen knives. 

Of course, Shane was the leader. When he had told the new group that he was a police officer, that was all the trust they needed. 

Everyone was friendly for the most part, except for Daryl and Merle, who were rednecks from a state nearby. They kept to themselves and were never around for too long before Daryl would leave to hunt and Merle would leave to go into the city. Currently, half of their group, Merle, T-Dog, Andrea, Glenn, and Morales, were out on a supply run and hadn't been back for an entire week. They had been supposed to be back after three days, and everyone was getting worried. Mary had almost gone, but her stepmother had refused.

"Hey, Mary." Carol and Amy greeted her as she came out from the brush with Lori, brushing dirt off of the back of her pants. Mary smiled back, with a small wave, and held her hand out to Dale on top of the RV, to show that it was her turn to be a lookout. They switched places quickly so he could rest, her climbing up the ladder to sit on top of the RV with his binoculars. 

She had a gun of her own, a rifle with a nice scope, but if she didn't have to, she like using knives better. She had been a fencing champion for eight years, and she was good at focusing on where the blade needed to go.

She had been on patrol for an hour before Shane finally came up to talk to her like he always did while she was on patrol. He sat on the top of the RV in front of her, his legs dangling.

"They should be back by now." He ran a hand through his tangly, curled hair, looking out into the field. There were a few walkers surrounding the camp, but they were miles away, walking mindlessly in circles. "A week is too long. Amy is worried sick about her sister, Daryl won't stop huntin'-"

Mary leaned out of her chair to sit next to him and put a hand on his knee. He had been there for her when Rick died. He had almost been just like another dad for her, and she hated to see him so upset. She nudged him, taking a deep breath and clearing her throat. 

"I...It will be okay...okay...Sha...Shane." She whispered, praying nobody else heard her. 

"You're improvin'. Haven't heard you talk like that in months. Do it again." He nudged her. She shook her head with a silent laugh. "C'mon, I know you can-"

_"HELLO, BASE CAMP?"_

Mary's head shot to look at the chair below here where the walkies sat, that were connected to those on a supply run. She scrambled to stand, almost falling off the RV before Shane caught her. Dale was running to answer the call. 

"Can anybody out there hear me?"

_"Base camp, this is T-Dog! Anybody hear me?"_

"Hey, listen, T, the reception is bad on this end!" Dale yelled into the walkie, praying for a response." 

"Shane is that you?"

"Is that them?" Lori panted out. Mary nodded to her stepmother, her eyes bulging out of her head. She was almost sure that they had died. 

_"We're in some deep shit. We're trapped in the department store. There are geeks all over the place. Hundreds of 'em. We're surrounded."_

"T-Dog, repeat that-"

There was static. Mary's hand covered her mouth. How would they come back from being surrounded? It didn't seem possible. She slid down the RV and held her hand out to Carl, who was close to tears and wrapped her arms around him. Shane jumped down after her.

"He said department store." 

"I heard it too." Dale nodded.

"Shane?" Lori frowned at him. Shane scoffed, asking his head.

"No, now way. We do not go after them. We do not risk the rest of the group. Y'all know that." 

"So we're just gonna leave her there?" Amy asked, referring to her sister. 

"Look, Amy, I know that this is not easy-"

"She volunteered to go to help the rest of us." 

"I know, and she knew the risks, right? See, if she's trapped, she's gone. So we just have to deal with that. There's nothing we can do." 

Carl had started to cry, and Mary led him away from the group, so he wouldn't hear that they absolutely couldn't save them. She led them to their shared tent, and kneeled down, looking him in the eye. She was just as scared as him, her hands shaking, but she smiled, her eyes kind and soft. She hoped she could get it across to him that it would be okay, and it seemed that she did as he wrapped his arms around her neck. 

"Mary, I know you were supposed to go on that run. I know Shane had offered, and Lori didn't let you." 

He pulled away from her.

"I'm glad you didn't go. I can't lose you." 

That night, Mary couldn't sleep. She felt guilt flood her entire body as she thought about how that was supposed to be her supply run. It would have been her first if Lori hadn't let her go. She could have been trapped there, she could have helped, and she could have gotten them out. She sat outside of her and Carl's tent, staring up at the sky as the sun came up, ignoring the humidity of the Atlanta air. 

As everyone began to wake up, she immediately got to work at the riverside, starting on the laundry. Carol joined her after a few minutes, and they worked in silence, though Carol shot smiles at her, hoping that she would talk. She couldn't. All she could do was wear a frown on her face on the fact that people were dead, and it was because of her. 

Then she heard yelling at the base camp. Her eyes flickered to Carol, and they dropped the clean clothes, running over to camp. Dale was standing on the RV.

"It's a car! It's a goddamn car!" Shane yelled out. 

"Is it them?" Amy asked with fear laced with relief in her voice, unable to believe it. 

"It's a stolen car."

Mary's face fell as the car pulled into the entrance of the camp. As it got closer, a siren coming from the car burst in her ears, and she covered her ears. Shane inspected the car, falling back when he realized it was just Glenn, a bright smile flashing across his face.

"Turn that damn thing off!" Dale yelled to Glenn.

"I don't know how!" 

Voices flooded through Mary's ears as Shane demanded him to pop the hood and Andrea screamed at him about her sister. He had answers for them all. The other car was on their way. Ed stopped the siren.

"Everyone is fine... except for Merle." He adjusted his red hat to shield his eyes from the sun. 

"Are you crazy, driving this wailing bastard up here?" Shane asked. "Are you trying to draw every walker for miles?"

"I think we're okay."

"You call being stupid okay?" 

"Well," Dale shrugged. "The alarm was echoing all over these hills. Hard to pinpoint the source. I'm not arguing, I'm just saying." Dale looked at Glenn. "It wouldn't hurt you to think things through a little more carefully next time, would it?" 

Glenn looked down at his shoes, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes. He pushed it out of the way. "Sorry. Got a cool car." 

Behind Glenn's new, shiny red car, a giant truck started to approach from behind. Glenn smiled as the team began to jump out of the truck. Amy ran to her sister, and Morales to his family. Mary greeted Jacqui and T-Dog with a hug, a bright smile on her face. 

"How'd y'all get out of there?" Shane asked, looking at Morales hugging his children.

"New guy got us out."

"New guy?"

"Yeah." Morales nodded. "Crazy vato just got into town." Morales turned to look at the truck. It seemed someone was still in there. "Hey, helicopter boy! Come say hello! The guy's a cop, just like you."

Mary watched the man climb out, and when his face turned to look at them, she almost passed out. It was Rick. Her legs gave out, and she fell to the ground on her knees. She heard Lori scream, and they ran to each other. Mary couldn't move, not until he looked at her, his arms around his wife and son. 

"Mary..." Rick whispered, and she scrambled to him, wrapping her arms around all three members of the only family she had left. She never wanted to let go of him, clinging to his shirt, her tears soaking it. Her head turned to look at Shane to make sure it was real, and he nodded, a small smile gracing his face. 

It seemed that for the first time in a long time, things were looking up. 


	5. .two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Just a preface that I do use in-show dialogue, and that I do not take credit for any of it. I'm going to try and use as little as I can, and change some things up, but some of it is necessary for the story.

For the first time in weeks, after knowing Rick was alive, Mary could sleep for the first time. Carl had to wake her up to get her to do her chores, and when she was awake, she couldn't hide her smile as she watched Rick talking to Shane, scared that she had almost dreamed it. After Shane and Rick had completed their talk, Rick approached her, hugging her immediately.

"Seems like you grow every time I see you." Rick laughed into her ear. "I hoped and prayed you got to safety with Lori and Carl." They pulled away from each other. "Have they been doing okay? I mean..." He looked down at his boots. "With me gone?"

Mary nodded, pointing to Shane, who had been staying back and watching the conversation carefully. Mary wasn't dumb. She knew that Shane and Lori had had some sort of strange romance, but she didn't blame her stepmother. She had been alone after Rick. She needed support from someone other than her kids.

"They treat you well here?"

She gave him another nod, brushing her sweaty hair out of her face. 

"Hey, Mary!" Glenn called for her by the weapons inside the RV, and she patted her stepfather on the shoulder before running after him. Glenn smiled as she greeted him, tipping his hat to her. 

"I found something more your style on that supply run." 

Her eyebrows raised and she climbed inside the RV, eyes running over the guns laid out on the table. She looked up at him, confused. He knew she didn't like guns. He had seen her practice with knives, and even use her fencing sword a few times, though it wasn't very sharp anymore.

"No, no, I know what you're thinking."

He reached underneath the table and pulled out a sword case. He carefully undid the latch and pulled out a short sword, with a curved blade and broad tip. It was unlike anything she had ever seen, but the tag was still attached to it. 

"It's called a scimitar. I found it at an old antique shop, and it said they were used in Central Asia. Good for killing things on a horse."

She glared up at him, implying that they had no horses.

"But it's just as good on the ground. It's really sharp." He handed it to her, and she tested the weight in her hands. It was light, and about half the size of a normal sword. She stepped out of the RV and waved it around, twirling the handle in between her fingers with a smile. Glenn came stepping down from the RV, watching her.

"I know your mom doesn't want you going out, but I think time will have to come when you've gotta, and now you're prepared." He handed her the scabbard, and she slid it in and brought the band of the scabbard to go through her belt loops. It fit snug against her thigh, and she smiled at him, raising her hand to shake his. Glenn's cheeks flushed pink.

"It's no biggie, you know? Just thought you'd like it." 

She nodded to prove that she did. 

"Hey," Glenn leaned against the RV, sweat beading down his forehead from the sun. "I was wondering since things are starting to look up, do you wanna-"

A terrified scream cut Glenn off, and Mary knew it was her brother. On instinct, she pulled her new weapon from his sheath and sprinted towards the yelling. She was quick to catch up with Shane and Rick, running shoulder to shoulder with them to the edge of the woods. Rick pushed an arm in front of her chest when they reached the issue, as Carl ran to Lori.

"Nothing bit you? Nothing scratched you?"

"No, I'm okay." 

Mary peered over Rick's shoulder to see a walker, kneeled down in front of a deer, feasting on its entrails. She felt bile rise in her throat, and gripped the hilt of her scimitar tighter, ready for when it realized who it was surrounded by. Shane kept his gun trained as it turned its head to look at them, but Mary was ready before it had a chance to charge, kicking her foot into its abdomen and then swinging the sword to decapitate its head from its body. It died with a small growl, and everyone stared at the silent girl, who carelessly whipped the blood from the sword and pushed it back into the sheath. 

"It's the first one we've had up here. They never come this far up the mountain." Dale panted out, gripping an ax with shaky hands."They're running out of food in the city." Jim pointed out. Branches snapped behind him, and this time, Rick pushed Mary out of the way, though she was ready to fight. The tension in her muscles released as she saw it was just Daryl, holding his crossbow over his shoulder. He had been gone the past few days hunting, and they hadn't heard a word from him. He groaned as he looked down at the sight of the deer.

"Son of a bitch! That's my deer!" He reached up to wipe the sweat off of his crooked nose. "Look at it, all gnawed on by this filthy," He kicked the decapitated carcass. "Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless, poxy bastard!"

"Calm down, son. That's not helping." Dale offered, but it just made Daryl angrier, moving to bring his face inches from Dale's. 

"What do you know about it, old man? Why don't you take that stupid hat and go back to "on golden pond"? I've been tracking this deer for miles. Gonna drag it back to camp, cook us up some venison. What do you think? Do you think we can cut around its chewed up part right here?" 

Mary shook her head, her face twisting in disgust. 

"What's mute-Mary doing out here?" Daryl questioned, as he pulled the arrows he had used to kill the deer out of its carcass. "I'd think she'd piss her pants if she got within fifty feet of a walker."

"She's tougher than she looks." Shane defended Mary. "She killed this one." 

Suddenly, the head of the walker began to move, and Daryl scoffed.

"Don't seem dead to me." He shot an arrow through its eye. "It's gotta be the brain. Don't y'all know nothing?" 

Mary followed the group of men out of the woods and back to the base of the camp. It seemed to have gotten even sunnier as the shade of the trees disappeared. Mary watched Daryl call for his brother as he set down multiple hooks of dead squirrels, a flavor of meat that the entire camp had gotten acquainted with in the past months. 

Mary put her hand on Shane's arm, and he shrugged. 

"What?"

She pointed to Daryl and glared at him.

"You want me to tell him?"

She nodded. 

"He's gonna kill me. He's gonna kill Rick."

Mary's arms crossed and she stood, waiting for Shane to say something. Finally, he sighed and leaned against one of the cars. "Daryl, slow up a bit. I need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"About Merle. There was a... There was a problem in Atlanta."

Daryl set the squirrels down and shook his arms out. "He...he dead?"

"We're not sure." 

"He either is or he ain't!" 

Rick stepped forward, hands on his hips like he used to do when he was a cop and had to deliver bad news. 

"No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it." 

"Who are you?"

"Rick Grimes."

"Rick Grimes." Daryl got close to Rick's face. Mary felt her heart begin to race, and she brought her arms across her stomach anxiously, chewing on the insides of her cheeks. "Rick Grimes, you got something you want to tell me?"

"Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He's still there." 

"Hold on, lemme process this." Daryl stepped away from him, his face turning bright pink. You're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof and left him there?!" 

Rick nodded, and immediately, Daryl was on him, trying to attack him. Carl let out a whimper, and Lori turned him so he couldn't see. Shane was quick to push Daryl down, and Daryl pulled out the knife on his hip. Shane was quicker, and smarter, grabbing him by the shoulders and whipping him into a tight chokehold.

"You'd best let me go!" 

"Nah, I think it's better if I don't."

"Chokehold is illegal."

"You can file a complaint."

Rick kneeled down to look at Daryl on the ground. "I'd like to have a calm discussion on this topic. Think we can manage that? Do you think we can manage that?!" 

Daryl gave a slight nod, and they released him. 

T-Dog revealed that he dropped the key to the cuffs into a drain on the roof, but that the walkers wouldn't get to him either way, as he padlocked the door to the roof. Daryl demanded to know where he was so he could get him when Lori said six words that nobody wanted to hear.

_"He'll show you, isn't that right?"_

It was settled. Rick was going back with Daryl to get his brother, but Mary decided right then that he wouldn't be going alone. She made a straight b-line to the tent and grabbed her sturdier shoes, and pair of boots she had gotten from Carol, and pulled them on, lacing them on tightly. She grabbed a jacket for if they were there overnight, and the one gun that Shane had allowed her to have, shoving it into the waistband of her pants and pulling her shirt over it. 

Rick was arguing with Lori in front of the group when she returned. He had argued of the fact that he promised to stay in communication with the man that had saved his life and had dropped his guns and walkie in the middle of the road in the city, right next to the building where they had left Merle. Mary's heart melted at the sight of her stepfather's compassion. It made her want to go even more, and make up for the fact that she should have been there. 

"So we have four."

"Seems like five." Glenn pointed at Mary, who had been adjusting her tank top straps on her shoulders. 

"Absolutely not." Lori shook her head. "Not my husband and my daughter."

It was at this point that she was glad she didn't talk very much at all. She didn't have the capacity to argue, and she was twenty-one, she couldn't force her not to go. Not even Rick could. 

"What's the point of her coming?" Daryl asked, as he sat on a log and sharpened his arrows. "She's mute."

"Not entirely. She can talk to me sometimes." Rick argued, and Lori scoffed at him.

"So you're letting her?"

"She's good with that thing." He pointed at the sword. "And I'll protect her. We need all the help we can."

Lori nodded, crossing her arms. Mary could see her eyes filling with tears, and Mary understood why. Lori was the only thing Mary had left when her father died, and they had grieved together. She avoided eye contact.

"You bring our daughter back." 

"I will. Daryl, Mary, get that truck prepared." 


	6. .three.

The city, compared to the outside of Atlanta, was all pavement. 

Mary could barely see the trees as the group traveled down to the city limits, Glenn pulling open a fence for them to climb through. She couldn't hear any babbling brooks or birds chirping, just the sound of nearby walkers growling through their teeth, all around them.

Sometimes, before all of this had happened, Mary and Carl would lay in their backyard, next to the old swing set, and they would stare at the sky. They would point out shapes in the clouds, and Mary would always make ones that were funny, just to make them laugh. It's what they were doing when the outbreak happened. Shane had all but grabbed them both by the arm and carried them to his car. 

Things were different now.

They had ditched the van on a nearby railroad track and had walked about two miles down to the city. Mary could already feel herself getting exhausted, but she pushed through it, keeping to herself and looking out for the team. 

"Merle first, or the guns?" Rick questioned as they walked under the overpass of an interstate.

"Merle! We ain't even having this conversation." Daryl retorted, not even looking back.

"We are. You know the geography." He nodded to Glenn. "Your call."

"Merle's closest. The guns would mean doubling back. Merle first." 

They continued to travel through the city until they reached a department store that Rick had handcuffed Merle on top of. They could see walkers inside, but Daryl got rid of them quickly with a few arrows, pulling them back out and shoving them in his quiver. Mary's eyes traveled across the store, and she imagined what it had been like before the world had gone to shit. 

"Hey, Silent Bob," She felt someone swat her arm. She looked up at Daryl and realized she had been zoning out. "Come on, this way." 

She followed the group to the back of the store, where there was a long staircase, leading up to the roof. They climbed it, panting by the time they got to the top. T-Dog used his bolt cutters to get the door he had chained shut open, and they ran out. Mary had little hope for Merle being up there, and she seemed to be right when Daryl yelled his brother's name out. Mary felt bile rise in her throat as she saw that around the handcuff was a severed hand, assumingly Merle's, and next to it, a dull hacksaw.

Mary silently cursed. Nothing could ever be easy in their world. 

"You son of a bitch!" Daryl yelled, raising his crossbow to T-Dog. Mary was quick to pull her sword out, and she jumped in between the two 'enemies', refusing to let Daryl shoot an arrow into one of the nicest men she had ever met. Rick raised his Python handgun.

"I won't hesitate, Daryl. I don't care if every walker in the city hears it."

"I won't hesitate to shoot this arrow through your dumb ass daughter to get to him."

Mary looked him in the eye, as hard as it was. She wished she was able to tell him that she knew what it felt like to lose people, but her tongue twisted inside her mouth, the panic rising in her body making her unable to. 

Daryl grit his teeth, lowering the crossbow. Mary slowly moved from in between them, making sure he wouldn't raise his crossbow once she was out of the way. Instead, he gestured to the hand.

"You got a do-rag or something?"

T-Dog nodded, reaching into his pocket and throwing him a bandana. Daryl moved to Merle's decaying hand, picking it up by the pinkie, and laying it inside of the bandana, wrapping it up. "I guess the saw blade was too dull for the handcuffs. Ain't that a bitch." 

He stood up, making Glenn turn around and put the hand in his backpack. 

"He must have used a tourniquet, maybe his belt. Be much more blood if he didn't."

Daryl began to follow the trail of blood, and Mary let out a sigh, feeling like this would be pointless. Merle, if he was truly that good at surviving, could have been long gone, and clearly didn't care enough about his brother to come back to the camp. 

They followed the trail all the way into an office building, Daryl shooting the few walkers that came across their path. Mary stayed right behind Rick, and he shot glances at her occasionally to make sure she was safe, as he had promised Lori. They came across two walkers on the floor in a receptionist's office, along with Merle's blood.

"Had enough in him to take out these two sumbitches. One-handed. Toughest asshole I ever met, my brother. Feed him a hammer, he'd crap out nails."

"Any man can pass out from blood loss, no matter how tough he is."

"Yeah well," Daryl continued walking down the hall. "I don't give a damn. He's strong." 

Mary's eyes rolled, and she looked over at Glenn, who had snickered at her playful expression. He nudged her with his elbow. 

"Doin' okay?"

She nodded. 

"We'll get to go home soon, I promise." 

She wanted to tell him that the camp didn't feel like home to her, but she kept it to herself like she did everything. 

"Hey, Rick?" T-Dog asked as they turned a corner. "Mary ever talk to you?"

"Of course she does."

"Why won't she talk to us?" 

Ouch. That hurt.

Rick turned to look at Mary, who shrugged to tell him that it was okay.

"She's technically mute. She only talks when she's comfortable around someone, or if it just comes out. Had it since she was five."

"But Lori said that neither of you are her parents. How did you know her that young?" Glenn questioned, and Mary shifted uncomfortably on her feet. Rick didn't have time to answer, because Daryl had grown tired of the conversation, resorting to yelling out his brother's name again.

"We're not alone here." Rick warned.

"Screw that. He could be bleeding out. You said so yourself." He pointed to a staff kitchen. "Maybe there."

They followed him in, and the scent of burning flesh immediately filled Mary's nose. The grimy, cream-colored stove was still lit, and blood was dripping off of the marble countertops.

"What's that burned stuff?" Glenn asked, pointing to a metal plate, with black and red muck on it.

"Skin." Rick said, picking it up. "He cauterized the stump."

"Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle."

"Don't take that on faith. He lost a lot of blood."

"Yeah?" Daryl pointed at a window behind them, that had been broken. Fresh blood covered the shattered glass, and there was a human-sized hole. "Didn't stop him from bursting out of this death trap."

Mary's eyes rolled on their own volition. It was a dumb idea to try and leave, and Glenn echoed her concerns. If he had lost a lot of blood, it was a dumb idea to pass out in a street full of walkers. T-Dog voiced this concern, telling Daryl his odds were slim to none. Mary nodded in agreement, hanging back near the stove.

"No worse than being handcuffed and left to rot by you three sorry pricks. You couldn't kill him. Daryl turned to Rick. "Ain't so worried about some dumb, dead bastard."

"What about one thousand dead dumb bastards? Different story?"

"Why don't you take a tally? Do what you want. I'm gonna go get him." 

Rick pushed his hand onto Daryl's chest, begging, pleading him to wait, with his eyes alone. Mary was already plotting how they were going to do this, reaching into her back pocket and grabbing her notepad, writing down her idea/ 

"I don't blame you." Rick explained to Daryl. "He's family, I get that. I went through hell to find mine." He pointed at his stepdaughter. "I know exactly how you feel. He can't get far with that injury. We could help you check a few blocks around but only if we keep a level head." 

Daryl nodded, wiping his sweating forehead. "I could do that." Mary snapped her fingers, holding up her notepad.

**GUNS FIRST. THEN MERLE. BE SMART ABOUT THIS.**

"I like her." T-Dog laughed, pointing at Mary. "I'm with her." 

"Fine, let's get out of here and get those guns." Daryl glared at her. Mary rubbed her hands together, getting ready to leave, but Glenn grabbed her shoulder.

"We need a plan. I'll go."

"Oh boy, here comes another argument." T-Dog slid down to sit on the floor, already exhausted.

"You're not doing this alone." Rick argued, crossing his arms. Mary sat down on one of the countertops. SHe wanted to help, but she was constantly not being allowed to.

"It's a good idea, okay? If you just hear me out. If we go out there in a group, we're slow, we draw attention. If I'm alone, I can move fast." Glenn looked around, grabbing a marker from a table. He began drawing squares on the linoleum floor as buildings in the city, and then glanced up, grabbing a paper clip. "Look," He moved the clip to the center. "That's the tank, five blocks from where we are now." He set down a scrap of paper. "That's the bag of guns. Here's the alley I dragged you into when we first met. That's where Daryl, Mary, and I will go."

"Why me? Why mute-mouth?" Daryl scoffed. Mary raised her middle finger to him in a bout of confidence.

"Your crossbow is quieter than his gun. Her sword makes barely any noise. While Daryl waits in the alley, and Mary waits near the tank, I run up the street, grab the bag." 

"You got us elsewhere?" Rick asked. Glenn nodded, grabbing an eraser and placing it two blocks north of the tank.

"You'll be in this alley here."

"Two blocks away? Why?"

"I may not be able to come back the same way. Walkers might cut me off. If that happens, I won't go back to Daryl and Mary. I'll go forward instead, all the way around to that alley where you guys are. Whichever direction I go, I got you in both places to cover me. Afterward, we all meet back here."

Mary smiled at Glenn, and he looked up at her, his cheeks turning pink. They headed out in a hurry after that, using a fire escape outside of the broken window to climb down. Daryl helped her make the ten-foot drop from the ladder to the ground, grabbing her waist to make sure her ankles didn't roll as she hit the gravel. Then, they ran down the alleyway, her constantly in between Glenn and Daryl. 

"You got some balls for a Chinaman." Daryl loaded his crossbow.

"I'm Korean." 

"Whatever."

"Alright, Mary, you ready?" Glenn looked back at her. She nodded, though her face didn't show how prepared she was. There was no time for a confidence booster. Then ran down the street towards the tank, and she hid behind it, while Glenn was just on the other side. Multiple walkers had noticed them, but it wasn't long before Glenn was running past her with the guns, and she was following him. She could hear yelling coming from the alley, but she couldn't hear what the yell was, or who it was coming from.

When they returned to the alley, what they didn't expect to see what two grown men beating Daryl to death, and an unconscious boy on the ground. The men looked up rapidly, eyeing the police bag of guns.

"That's it! That's the bag, vato, take it! Take it!" One of them yelled, smashing a baseball bat into Glenn's nose. Mary swung her sword, but the younger man dodged it, bringing his foot up into her ribcage, knocking her against the alley wall. She felt blood fall past her lips, and she slid down to the ground, an excruciating pain traveling through her entire abdominal area. 

"MARY! MARY!" Glenn was yelling to her as they dragged him into a car, leaving the bag behind. She had tried to stand, but the moment she did, her legs gave out from the pain, the wind knocked out of her. Daryl stood, shooting an arrow, but it was too late. They were gone. Daryl closed the gate so the walkers couldn't get in, and Mary could see Rick and T-Dog running down the alleyway. Rick immediately rushed to his stepdaughter.

"Are you alright? Are you shot?" 

She shook her head.

"Sumbitches kicked her in the ribs. I saw it." Daryl wiped his bleeding nose and then grabbed the boy he had been fighting with, throwing him against the wall. "I'm gonna kick your nuts up in your throat!" 

Rick stood up from Mary and grabbed onto Daryl, while T-Dog pushed the boy against the wall.

"They took Glenn. That little bastard and his little bastard homie friends! I'm gonna stomp your ass!" 

"We gotta get back up there!" Rick exclaimed, grabbing the bag of guns, and Mary's sword. Daryl kneeled down to Mary, not even asking if she could stand, and just grabbing her, putting her arm around his shoulder to help her run. As the walkers were distracted on the other side of the alley, they had plenty of time to return to the room they had planned the strategy out on, Daryl setting Mary down in a chair. He looked, almost disappointed at her, before using the bottom of his shirt to wipe the blood from her mouth. 

T-Dog slammed the boy down into a chair in front of them, like there would be an interrogation. He was young, even younger than Mary, with a marijuana tattoo plastered on his neck, peaking from his gold chain. It was obvious he was just a groupie for some sort of gang. Mary almost felt bad for him.

"Those men you were with," Rick explained to the boy. "We need to know where they went."

"I ain't tellin' you nothin'."

"Jesus, man." T-Dog looked at Mary, who was still trying to catch her breath, her hand clutching at her stomach. One of them had definitely bruised her ribs. "What the hell happened back there?"

Daryl explained what happened to T-Dog, and Miguel shook his head.

"You're the one who jumped me, _puto_ , screaming about trying to find his brother like it's my own damn fault."

"They took Glenn. Could have taken Merle too."

"Merle?" The kid laughed. "What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle." 

Daryl moved to punch the kid, but Mary was up in a flash, stomping her boot against the floor to startle him and get him to stop. She grit her teeth, shaking her head for him to stop. Mary looked at her stepfather, and then Daryl, before trailing to Glenn's backpack. She held back vomit as she pulled the hand out, and then her sword. First, she threw Merle's hand at the boy, and as he jumped out of the chair, she held the sword lightly to the boy's throat, nothing but vengeance in her eyes. 

She was worried about Glenn, more than she had liked to admit. He was the first one who was kind to her at the camp.

"Mary, back off." 

Mary gave him a smile with one corner of her mouth, before pulling away and sheathing the sword.

"Why doesn't she talk?" The boy asked, out of breath.

  
"She cut off her own tongue." Daryl lied, trying to intimidate him more.

"Listen," Rick ignored his remark. "The men you were with took our friend." He kneeled down to the boys' level. "All we want to do is talk to them, see if we can work somethin' out." 

The kid nodded. "I'll take you there. It's a few blocks down. Just please,"

He looked at Mary with fear in his eyes.

"Don't kill me."


	7. .four.

Mary was in too much pain to go with them. 

The moment she had pulled away from the young boy after scaring him with Merle's severed hand, she had fallen to the ground, blood rising up and falling from her mouth. Rick fell to his knees beside her, lifting up her shirt to examine her body.

"Jesus her ribs are bruised." The kid grimaced.

"One of them has gotta be fractured for her to be coughin' up blood like that." Daryl pointed out. Rick cursed, looking up at T-Dog and Daryl.

"One of you has got to stay with her. I'm betting it's Daryl. We'll get you when this is done."

"What? I want to fight those assholes!" 

"We won't be fighting. We'll be talking and getting Glenn back, and you don't have the temper for that anyway. Just stay here, please."

Daryl's eyes narrowed at the injured girl, who looked apologetically at him. He shook his head, setting his crossbow down against the countertop and nodding.

"Go ahead." 

Rick nodded in thanks and patted his stepdaughters back. "Mary, we will be right back. I promise. You're gonna be fine. Jesus..." He scratched his graying hair. "Lori is gonna kill me."

She nodded to him, understanding what he had to do, and feeling disappointed in herself that she wouldn't be able to go and help. Rick, T-Dog, and the boy were out within minutes, leaving Daryl and Mary with a singular rifle. She had still been sat on the floor, clutching her ribs, blood trickling down her mouth. Daryl watched her, almost in disgust, and then began to search the room. She watched him silently as he dug through cupboards, before making a sound of satisfaction when he found what he needed. It was duct tape. 

He approached her carefully.

"We're gonna get this taken care of." He leaned down, helping her stand, and informed her that she would have to take off her shirt and keep still.

"We couldn't afford hospital bills growing up." He told her, averting his eyes as she pulled her tank top off of her body. From the lift of her arms, she let out a cry of pain, the most sound she had ever made around Daryl. She lowered her arms inch by inch slowly, trying to not feel the stab of her rib bone against her lungs again. Daryl picked her tank top off of the floor and ripped it into a long strip.

"Alright, put your hands on my shoulders." He instructed, standing in front of her. She did as he said, and he stretched her tank top, wrapping it around her middle, just below her sports bra, tightly. She grit her teeth as he taped it, and told her that it would keep her ribs from moving. When he was done, he dug in Glenn's backpack until he found a jacket, throwing it to her. She zipped it over her injury, and carefully slid back down to the floor. She was only able to take short breaths, each one bringing pain shooting down to her toes and fingertips. She dug her nails into her legs.

She glanced at him and swallowed, pushing down her anxiety.

_"T-T...Thank...yo...thank you."_

Daryl was silent, though she could see he was surprised from her voice, sitting down across from her with a solemn grunt. She stared at her hands, grimacing at her breaths. The makeshift bandage did drastically decrease the pain and kept her from ingesting blood. 

"You talked just then." He pointed out. She nodded in acknowledgment.

"What happened to you? 'Cause you can't talk a whole lot..." 

She didn't answer, focusing on her breathing more. 

"Fine, don't talk anymore. I don't really care anyway. Just wanted you to stop whimpering like a dog with a hurt paw."

She flashed a glare at him, straightening her spine to cure her new insecurity of crying out again. She wasn't sure why she had spoken to him, and thanked him, seeing as he had been nothing but a complete asshole to her before he helped fix her ribs. They sat in silence for a few hours, and at some point, Mary let herself drift off to sleep as the sun started to set, letting her worries of getting home after dark leave her mind. 

She was awoken two hours later, a crick in her neck from sleeping while sitting up straight. It was T-Dog who had shaken her shoulder, jostling her aching bones around a bit. She let out a groan, eyes fluttering open, and grabbed his offering hand to help her stand. 

"So," Daryl turned to her Glenn as Mary strapped her sword back around her waist. "What's the damage?" 

"Huh?"

"What'd you have to give away?"

"Half our ammo and guns." 

Daryl grit his teeth, kicking over a chair. Mary cringed at the loud noise.

"Turns out that they're takin' care of some old folks that got left behind at the nursing home." 

"So that's why you got rid of our ammo. A bunch of old farts who are gonna die off momentarily anyhow. Seriously, how long you think them old fuckers got?" 

"How long do any of us?" 

Mary shook her head. Daryl was right, it was dumb to give away half of their weapons in the middle of a damned apocalypse, but they couldn't leave Glenn, and if that was what it took, she didn't mind. 

They left almost instantly, and every step Mary took made her seethe in pain, but she kept it to herself, biting her tongue to keep herself from letting out noises of agony. She kept her hand on her side, the bandage that Daryl had crafted making her unable to breathe properly. She hoped that Dale or Andrea would have something for when they got back as Rick hoisted her onto the tracks. 

She didn't notice until she looked up, that they were beginning to run down the tracks. She could see once she caught up with them, that the truck they had used was gone. 

"Oh my God."

"Where the hell's our van?"

"We left it right there. Who would take it?" 

Rick let out a groan, turning to look at Daryl.

"Merle."

Daryl looked down. "He's gonna be takin' some vengeance back to the camp."

"It's getting dark." Rick shook his head. "Don't got time to find another car. We'll walk." 

That's exactly what they did, walking in the deep humidity of Atlanta as the sun went down. Mary tried to imagine it as a hike while she watched hues of pink and purple grace the sky. She could see fireflies fluttering through the air, glowing every few seconds, and she could feel herself almost smile as she remembered all the campfires she had with her step-family, and all the times' Carl and she camped outside of the house in the exact same weather. 

Rick nudged her as they walked up the hill towards the camp. "Need a piggyback ride like old times?"

She shook her head with a smile, putting her arm around her stepfather, still in disbelief that he was alive. He looked down at the ground. 

"Thank you." 

She looked at him with a question.

"For... you know, taking care of them. I know you said Shane was the one who saved you all but... you were there for them. Carl would be heartbroken if you were... you know. He wouldn't be the same." 

She smiled at him, and leaned forward to kiss his cheek, wishing she could thank him, but her words couldn't find themselves. There was nothing new about that. Once they were close to the camp, she started to hurry a bit more, rushing ahead of the group, until she heard a yell of her name from Glenn. 

Mary turned to see what the problem was when something was falling on top of her, knocking her down onto the ground. She couldn't see the walkers face in the dark, but it growled and snarled in her face, trying to take a bite out of any exposed skin she had. Rick rushed over to her, stabbing his bowie knife into the face of it. Blood spurted onto her face, and she pushed the carcass of her. 

It was then that they heard more screams coming from the camp. 

Rick helped her stand, and though her fall had put her in even more pain, she ran, as fast as her legs could carry her.

_Carl. Carl. Carl._

It was all that was in her head. Please don't let it be Carl. 

They could see when they reached the camp that walkers had invaded it, and were taking bites out of everyone they knew. She pulled her sword out of the sheath and decapitated one quickly that had just made its way towards them. She could hear Carl screaming near the campfire area, and that's where she ran, seeing Lori and Carl hiding behind Shane as he shot them down. 

"Mary!" Lori cried out, and Mary turned, hitting a walker right before it could grab a bite out of her shoulder. It didn't take long for the surviving team to get all of the walkers dead, and Mary held back tears, trying to forget the fact that her family almost died yet again. Lori hugged her in relief.

"I was so worried." She whispered in her ear, and then pulled back, seeing Mary clutch her fractured ribs. "We'll get you taken care of soon." 

As Mary looked at all the dead on the ground, she couldn't understand it. Andrea was screaming for her sister on the ground next to the RV, Amy bleeding to death from a walker death. 

This had to be hell, Mary thought. No God could exist and create this kind of animosity. 


	8. .five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I just wanted to give a preface that Mary does not have selective mutism or any type of mutism. When Rick was saying she's 'technically mute', he meant it in a technical term, in that she doesn't talk hardly at all. Though she still has the ability to talk, and mute characters do not. Selective mutism often has the misconception that they are capable of speaking, but oftentimes they are not. Mary's incapability to talk in certain situations is due to trauma from when she was a child, in which her throat just closes up. I am not aware if this is an actual medical condition, but everything medical in this story should be taken as fiction. I am not a medical professional. <3 Hope you enjoy.

Nobody in the camp that was left alive slept. Nobody could. 

Mary sat on the ground, from the moment that the screams ended, though Rick insisted that she get medical care. The boys had been quick to start stabbing the dead in the head and throwing them into a fire pile. 

Andrea hadn't moved from her dead sister's spot since she died. It was a matter of time before Amy turned, they all knew that. 

Mary felt so weak. Every time the camp needed to be defended, she was never there. She knew she had the potential to protect them, but she was never there. 

She brought her knees up to her chest and let out a small whimper of a cry. When she brought her hands to her face, she realized that she still had walker blood smudged against her skin. She used the sleeves of Glenn's jacket to wipe it off, making a promise to herself that she'd wash it for him sometime soon. 

Finally, Shane came to sit by her.

"You've gotta get up sometime, Mary. You haven't moved all night." 

Mary stared at the ground. Shane reached to the side of him and held up a plate to her with cooked fish, fried, and smiled.

"Morales cooked this up for everyone last night. Carl saved you a plate. It might be cold but it's still good." 

She shook her head, feeling her nose burn as she tried to hold back more tears.

"Hey," Shane reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, and reached up, wiping away the excess blood on her face that she didn't seem to get. She sniffed as he got underneath her eyes.

"Lori's worried sick about you. Rick told me you've got a broken rib. Ain't much you can do about that but you need to stand up so you don't make it worse."

She shook her head, and Shane scoffed, standing up and grabbing her underneath the arms, lifting her up. Mary grit her teeth, using her arms to shove him away from him with all her might, despite the pain it caused her. She barely made a budge with him, so she shoved him again, pulling away from his hands. The camp had stopped walking to watch this happen, and she averted her eyes, kicking the plate of fish and pushing past him to walk to the edge of the woods. 

Lori rushed off after her. "Mary... Mary, baby, listen to me." 

Mary stopped walking, her boots kicking up the dirt underneath her. She was holding back choked sobs, biting the back of her hand. Lori grabbed her arms, pulling her into a hug. "I know you think this is your fault, that you weren't here to protect them. It's not your fault. It isn't."

"My...my fault," Mary whispered into her shoulder.

"No," Lori shook her head, holding her close. "You've been through so much, none of it has been your fault, none of it. We're together, that's all that matters." 

"Amy..." She whispered. "Ed.. de...dead..."

"I know. That's nobody's fault. Now come on, eat something for me, yeah?"

Mary wiped the tears from her eyes and nodded, following her stepmother to the extinguished campfire. Lori handed her a bag of cashews, and Mary popped a few in her mouth, though she had no appetite. She could barely chew without her ribs aching, but there was no time to stop. After a few moments of silence, Jacqui was letting out a yell, pointing at Jim with terror in her eyes. Jim dropped the body he had been lifting.

"A WALKER BIT JIM!" 

"I'm okay, I'm okay," Jim mumbled, as Rick, Shane, and Daryl came towards them. Daryl was wielding a pickaxe, ready to use it at any time. Mary watched from her spot as T-Dog grabbed him by the shoulders, and Daryl pulled up his shirt, revealing a bite right underneath the right side of his rib cage. 

"Get him tied up, over there," Rick demanded Daryl, pointing to the front of the RV away from any of the weapons or kids. Mary stood up, the bag of cashews still in her hand, walking over to the group that had been gathering, including Dale and Lori. It seemed that they were beginning to think of a plan as Daryl returned from restraining Jim, who in seconds had seemed to turn pale white and had started to sweat profusely. Rick scratched the scruff on his chin.

"What do we do with him? He's still alive, we can't just-"

"I say we put a pickaxe in his head and the dead girl's and be done with it." Daryl interrupted, pointing his weapon towards Andrea and Amy. Andrea had still barely moved an inch.

"Is that what you'd want if it were you?" Shane questioned, adjusting his police cap over his head. 

"Yeah, and I'd thank you while you did it."

Mary hated to think it, but Daryl was right. Waiting to turn into a walker wasn't any kind of life, and she'd want it that way too. She prayed every night that if the same thing happened to her, Carl or Lori would have the strength to kill her before she could turn. Dale voiced the same concern as Mary.

"Jim's not a monster, Dale." Rick retorted. Or some rabid dog. He's sick. A sick man. We start down that road, where do we draw the line?"

"The line's pretty clear." Daryl crossed his arms. "Zero tolerance for walkers, or them to be." 

"What if we can get him help? I heard the C.D.C. was working on a cure." 

Mary shook her head and silently scoffed. She doubted that the C.D.C. was even up and running anymore, regardless of Rick making the point that the government would protect them more than anything else. But Rick made it seem that it was their only choice, regardless of Shane suggesting a military base instead. Daryl was tired of it, raising his pickaxe.

"You go looking for aspirin, do what you need to do. Someone needs to have some balls to take care of this damn problem!" 

He ran towards Jim, and Rick was quick to pull his pistol toward Daryl's head, stopping him before he could get the job done. Mary agreed that they didn't kill the living, but she knew it was only a matter of time as she watched Rick and Shane carry Jim into an RV, as he shivered in coughed. It was getting worse by the minute. 

Mary tried to push Jim and Amy out of her mind and started helping with the bodies. Rick protested that she needed to rest, to not worsen her injury, but she didn't listen. She helped separate walkers and humans, whose faces had been bashed in by Daryl, to keep them from turning. It was something of a mercy killing, something that was necessary, even if looking at it made her sick. 

Graves had been dug up the hill from the camp by Jim, and Carol's daughter, Sophia, and Carl had drawn pictures to bury with all of their dead. Daryl used a truck to bring them all up, and one by one they were dropped into graves. Mary tried not to look at the faces of the people she had shared laughs with, even spoken to if she was close enough to them. She just dropped them in, and eventually, Andrea even came with her sister, a bullet hole in her head. 

It was horrifying to watch. Mary stayed on the hill after they had all gone, with Shane, and poured dirt over the bodies. As she patted the top of a grave with her shovel, she realized, finally, that she would never see these people again. 

"Shane..." She whispered, heart beginning to ache. "Shane."

He turned to look at the girl who rarely talked. "What is it, Mare?" 

"If I..." She pointed to the bodies. "If I'm one of those... will you-"

"That's not going to happen to you, Mary. Not with Rick and me around. Not with Daryl, and T, and Andrea around. We'll all protect you."

"We couldn't protect th... them." She gestured to the graves. "It... could happen to any..." 

Her throat closed up, and she lifted the shovel up to hang onto her shoulder. She looked at Shane with pleading eyes. She didn't want to be bit, but even more so, she didn't want to hurt someone she loved in a state where she wouldn't remember her own name. Shane scratched the back of his neck.

"Yes... you know I would." He nodded. "I would do anything to protect Lori and Carl, even if it meant..." 

She nodded to him in thanks, a small smile on her face. All she needed to know is that she could count on someone to do that, and she knew Rick wouldn't be able to if she asked. 

She walked back down the hill, her body wanting to give out, but the struggle was never over. Rick was approaching her, Daryl at his side. 

"Mary, I know you're hurt, and you need to rest, but I need your help. Shane, Dale, and I are doing a sweep on this side of the forest, I want you and Daryl to do a sweep on the other side.

"Man I don't know how a girl who doesn't talk and has a broken rib is gonna be any help at all."

"She's still standing now, ain't she? T-Dog is sweeping down the hill, this is all I've got left."

Mary nodded, making sure her sword was still around her waist. Daryl nodded for her to follow him, and they walked shoulder to shoulder into the East side of the camp woods, keeping their ears alert for walkers. Mary wanted to be happy that Rick was (most likely convincing Lori too) letting her do more hands-on work, but now all she felt was the fact that at any moment they could lose someone else.

The number of trees that surrounded the camp almost hid the sun entirely while inside them, a tint of green all around Daryl and Mary. She could hear every scuff of a squirrel jumping across a branch, or a rabbit running across the leaves. They were silent as they walked through, checking for walkers. Normally, walkers didn't come in through the woods, or anywhere up the hill. It is why there was such a surprise when they showed up at the camp. They must have been running out of food below.

"So," Daryl said, holding his crossbow to his eye. "You ever gonna talk to any of us?"

Mary shot him a glare.

"I know you did once, but... I feel like talking is pretty important if we're gonna get out of this alive." He sniffed, checking a grove of trees close together to make sure no walkers were behind it. She didn't respond to him.

"Lori told me that somethin' happened to you, it's why you don't talk much. Shit happened to me too, you learn to live with it." 

That would have been a nice sentiment, she thought, though he said it with a sense of anger in his voice. She nodded nonetheless, not letting herself be afraid of the tone of voice. Then she heard it, the sound of a growl. She held her hand in front of his chest to get her to stop walking, and pulled out the sword, waving it a few times to test the weight.

"Let me handle it." Daryl insisted. She glanced at him and then back towards the sound and shook her head.

"...no." She mumbled, rushing towards the sound. She wasn't scared, or intimidated, or annoyed with the fact that Daryl was almost tripping over her feet. She was angry. She was angry that whatever it was that made people turn into monsters was getting away with it. She began to run towards the sound, whizzing ahead of Daryl as his head was turned. He yelled after her, but she didn't listen. She wanted to kill. It was the only thing she wanted to do anymore.

There were six walkers, slowly limping against the moist ground. She stopped running once they were in view, with a heaving breath. They hadn't seen her yet, and she knew she couldn't do it alone. She waited for Daryl to catch up.

"Are you goddamn crazy, you-" 

She whipped around and pressed her hand to his mouth, pointing to the walkers. He knew to be quiet when she removed his hand from her mouth, and he held up his crossbow.

"You get the three on that side," He pointed to the right. "And I'll take care of these. On three. One...two..."

Mary ran towards the walkers, and once she was in sight of them, screamed out in hunger. The first was easy, and she decapitated it with her sword in one swing. The other one grabbed at her arm, and she first brought a swing against its torso, and then brought it swiftly across their scalp, cutting the hairline off. 

The other walker was larger, almost knocking her over as it grabbed her by the shoulders. Her sword fell from her hand, and she cursed under her breath, pushing it down with all her strength. She straddled it, bringing her fist to its face, and she felt the anger again. She hit it, over, and over, and over, with her fists, dead bodies flashing before her eyes with each punch. She hit it until someone was grabbing her, pulling her off of it, her body shivering and tears streaming down her face, and snot pouring out of her nose.

"Damn it, girl! Get up!" She heard Daryl yelled as she flailed, finally wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her up. She squealed out in pain from her ribs, but it woke her up from her angered trance, and she found the strength to stand again, looking down at her raw, bloody fists. It was walker blood mixed with her own, the skin tearing at the knuckles.

"The hell is wrong with you?" Daryl asked, one of his hands gripping blood-covered arrows. "You touched in the head?"

She shook her head.

"I get it. I get you're upset, I am too, but you don't do that, Jesus," He shook his head. "You realize that dad of yours and Shane would kill me if somethin' happened to you under my watch?"

"Not..." She took a deep breath. "Not under your...watch. Not a...not a child." 

"Yeah, tell that to yourself next time you don't listen when you're about to break your hand. Here." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flask. She pulled her hand back and he sighed.

"It's just water. Hold out your hand. Can wrap it when we get back."

Mary did as he told and he poured the flask of water over her skin, watching the blood wash away to reveal the wounds the walker's skull had created. 

When their sweep was over, they returned to the camp, and Mary silently praised Daryl for not telling any of her family that she had gone crazy in the woods. She had told Lori while she wrapped it that she had accidentally run into a tree when she wasn't looking. That was when Lori forced her to rest, telling her that she was too tired to be fighting. She played games with Carl to distract him from the tragedies of the camp until Rick finally came to the group.

He announced that they would be leaving, and going to the CDC, to get Jim some help, and to be safe. Mary wasn't sure if she was happy or sad about it, but she couldn't think of any other choice.

They left at dawn.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

_Hey so, I realize these first few chapters are an absolute ass, and the main reason for that is because the camp parts of the show were pretty boring to me, and I want to move on to the CDC and Hershel's farm, where I can really develop Mary as a character. Thank you for bearing with me! <3_


	9. .six.

Jim greeted death like moths greet the light. With great urgency and need.

Mary witnessed him rest against a tree on the side of the road, not afraid anymore. He sat, unbothered, as everyone said goodbye to him. They had said goodbye to the Morales family in the beginning. They were trying their luck at Fort Benning. That was a loss enough, but the fact that Jim had lost all of his hope, and all he felt was pain, was even worse. He didn't want to hope anymore, he wanted to die.

They let him. They left him without a weapon or food. They just let him go. 

It was like they hadn't even known him as they got back on the road. Carl had even smiled as the sun came up over the horizon, while they watched from the RV. He had hope for the CDC, hope his father had planted there, and Mary prayed to any higher power that he would be right. She could see in Shane's eyes every time she looked at him that he doubted any of it would work. 

They made it to the CDC that night, a smell filling the air, even through the windows of the RV. She could hear Daryl coughing on his motorcycle from the stench, and eventually Shane, Andrea, and Jacqui as they got out of Shane's car. 

Mary pulled her shirt over her nose and got out of the RV, but it didn't help. As she looked up at the building, she could see the reason why. Hundreds of corpses laid across the pavement.

"Alright, everybody, keep moving, go on. Stay quiet, let's go." Shane instructed as they walked around the bodies. She could see that most of the bodies had been military, and they had been defending their last means of survival. Mary apologized to them in her head as she walked behind Rick, Carl holding her hand. At the front entrance, tanks lined up on the sides, blood spattered on the green material. The shutters of the doors were closed, and Rick pounded on them.

"Nothing?"

T-Dog pulled on another shutter. "There's nobody here."

"Then why are these shutters closed?"

"Walkers!" Daryl yelled, shooting an arrow at one coming slowly toward the group. "You led us into a graveyard!" He yelled to Rick once the walker was down, but Shane was quick to hold him back.

"He made a call."

"It was the wrong damn call!"

Mary shook her head, pounding on the door. She pulled on the handle until her hands were hurt as they argued. She hit the doors with her bandaged knuckles until Shane was pulling her away from the door. 

"Come on, back to the cars. Mary, come on." 

"The camera moved," Rick said suddenly. Mary looked up at what he stared at, and she nodded. The camera moved up, and then down, and back up.

"You imagined it."

"No, it moved." 

Mary nodded, trying to wriggle away from Shane's grasp. 

"Rick, it is dead, man. It's an automated device. Gears, okay? They're just winding down, now come on." Mary ripped his hands off of her arms. "Mary! Stop!" 

She ran to the shutters, staring directly at the camera, and kicked them. Mary kicked them over and over, as Rick screamed into the camera that whoever was in there was killing them. She pounded until blood was seeping through her bandages once more, and then, when she threw another punch, she fell through the opening, a bright light blinding her.

Rick ran, helping her stand, and the rest of the group crowded past them. She looked up at her stepfather and smiled, wrapping her arms around him for a quick moment. She had doubted him, but he had gotten them to safety without question. She owed him her life once more.

"We made it Mary!" Carl cheered to her as they walked slowly through the entrance of the building. There were high ceilings, and every one of their footsteps echoed throughout the entire room. 

"Hello?" Rick yelled into the room, and suddenly, a large man appeared at the entrance to a hallway, a rifle in his hands.

"Anybody infected?!" He yelled at them.

"One of our group was. He didn't make it."

His gun lowered, and he stepped forward. "Why are you here? What do you want?"

"A chance," Rick responded.

"That's asking an awful lot these days."

"I know."

The man stood for a minute, eyes scanning over all of them. He chewed on his lip, and then nodded, running a hand through his ginger, though graying hair.

"You all submit to a blood test. That's the price of admission."

"We can do that." Rick nodded.

"You got stuff to bring in, do it now. Once this door closes it stays closed." 

This led Rick, Daryl, and T-Dog to grab all of the bags as fast as possible. When they returned, the shutters closed immediately, slamming against the floor. Mary didn't care. Everyone she cared for was safe, and that was all that mattered.

"Vi, kill the power up here." The man demanded, leading them through a hallway into an elevator. As they followed, Rick introduced himself.

"Rick Grimes."

"Dr. Edwin Jenner."

The group filed in, making uncomfortable small talk. It took almost three minutes for the elevator to bring them down to where they were going, and when they were, it was a bright white hallway, with lights that hurt her eyes.

"Are we underground?" Carol questioned, her hands on her daughter's shoulders, keeping her close.

"A little."

"Try not to think about it."

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." Dr. Jenner commanded. Once the lights came up, it was revealed that the bright white hall was leading into an auditorium sized room, with a large screen in the front.

"Welcome to Zone 5."

"Where is everyone? The other doctors, the staff?" Lori questioned.

"I'm it. It's just me here." He responded, scratching his arm underneath a gray t-shirt that looked to be worn for months.

"What about the person you were speaking with. Vi?"

The doctor smiled, looking up at the ceiling. "Vi, say hello to our guests. Tell them... Welcome."

_"Hello, guests. Welcome."_

~~**.-----.** ~~

Dr. Jenner had been able to properly make a wrap for Mary's ribs, and give her pain medication, something that Lori made sure was top priority. After a gratuitous blood test that had left her close to passing out, Dr. Jenner finally announced that there would be dinner, a _real dinner_ , with food that was fresh and completely clean. When she came to the dinner table, and sat in between Rick, Carl, and Lori, a plate was placed in front of her full of mashed potatoes, steamed corn, corned beef, and fresh fruit. The doctor was passing out wine in proper glasses. Nobody waited for anyone else, they all dug in, including Mary, who almost let out an audible groan from how good the food was. 

She didn't drink the wine, opting for juice instead, but she reveled in the fact that there were even such luxuries left in the world. 

"You know," Dale explained, pouring wine into Lori's glass. "In Italy, children have a little bit of wine with dinner, and in France."

Lori giggled, placing her hand over Carl's cup. "Well, when Carl is in Italy or France, he can have some then."

"What's it gonna hurt? Come on." Rick smiled at his wife, chuckling under his breath. She looked at him with caution and then let go of Carl's cup, letting Dale pour some in. Carl took a single sip, and shook his head, wincing.

"Eww! That's gross."

"That's my boy," Lori said, taking it from him and pouring it into her glass. Mary ruffled his hair with a silent laugh, shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes into her mouth.

"Just stick to soda pop there, bud." Shane shook his head. Daryl walked around the table, pouring Glenn a glass.

"Not you, Glenn. Keep drinking, little man. I wanna see how red your face can get."

Everyone laughed, and for once, everything seemed to be completely okay. Rick stood up, his wine in his hand.

"It seems to me that we haven't thanked our host properly. He is more than our host."

Everyone cheered, Daryl, yelling out a few _'Booyah's_ ' to make people laugh. Mary clinked her glass with everyone at the table, but when she held her cup out to Shane, he shook his head.

"So when are you gonna tell us what the hell happened here, doc? All the other doctors that were supposed to be figuring out what happened - where are they?"

Mary understood information like that was important, but she was tired and didn't seem to care less. All she wanted was to not worry anymore, and this seemed like a good place that she could do that.

"Whoa, wait a second. This is why we're here, right? This was your move... supposed to find all the answers. Instead we..." He laughed. "We found him. Found one man. Why?"

Jenner explained that all of the doctors and scientists fled to be with their families, and many also committed suicide. They couldn't bear leaving, but they also couldn't bear living. Jenner had continued to work, desperate to find something that would fix it.

She wasn't sure what she would have done in that situation, knowing that she could try and save lives but also wanting to be with her family. Though it didn't seem to matter anymore, because he hadn't found anything. 

Mary set her fork down, suddenly unable to eat.

After dinner, Jenner led them down another hallway, this time dimly lit. He pointed to the doors across the lines of doors. 

"The couches are comfortable, but there are cots in storage if you like." He turned to look at Sophia and Carl, who were side by side in the front of the group. "There's a rec room down the hall that you kids might enjoy. Just don't plug in the video games, okay? Or anything that draws power. The same applies, if you shower, go easy on the hot water. Now there aren't enough rooms for everyone to have their own so-"

Mary felt a smile grow on her face, and Glenn watched it and then started to laugh drunkenly. "Did you say hot water?"

"Each bedroom is equipped with a bathroom, including a shower."

Rick turned to face the rest of the group, a grin spread across his face. He looked over all of their faces like a proud leader.

"Hop to it, folks." 

Mary didn't care who she shared a room with, she just zoomed into one, dropped her bags on one of the couches, and almost did a dance. She didn't have to sleep with both eyes open anymore, or with a knife under her pillow. She unstrapped the sword from her waist, grabbed a fresh pair of pajamas, and moved into the bathroom. The second she walked in, the lights flickered on, and the door locked behind her.

Mary, for the first time in a while, looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn't sure if she really even knew the person in front of her anymore. Her face was smeared with dirt, and she had cuts on her cheek from falling to the ground when her ribs were broken. She took the hairbrush that had been set on top of the counters and brushed through her dark hair, getting out terrible tangles that would never be completely undone. Her eyes seemed to be glossed over like a grey ocean, and her teeth yellowed. She brushed them with vigor, relieving some of the stain. 

Then, she pulled off her clothes carefully and looked back at herself. From her hip to her breast bone were bruises traveling up her skin in shades of red and purple. When she pressed her fingers to them, there was a dull sting, and nothing more.

She wrapped a towel around her waist to protect the bandage for her ribs as best as she could. She unwrapped her fists, saving the bandages for after so she could rewrap them. 

The shower had been incredible. She didn't think that she would ever feel hot water rolling down her skin and through her hair ever again, let alone with soap. However when she stepped out of the shower, she still didn't feel clean. Something was bugging her in the back of her mind, and she still couldn't figure out what it was. 

When she came out of the bathroom, equipped in a tank top and sweatpants, her roommates were revealed. Glenn was stumbling through the room, while Daryl tried to keep him upright to not knock anything in the room down. She smiled at his drunken state.

"Mary! How was it?" He pointed to her wet hair. She smiled and gave him a thumbs-up, using the towel in her hand to shake her hair out.

"I want one..." Glenn whined, stumbling towards the shower and almost tripping over Daryl's bag. Daryl sighed.

"I should make sure he isn't gonna fall over in there and crack his head open." 

Mary giggled silently and nodded. Glenn was a few years older than her, but she could definitely hold her liquor better when she was drinking. 

Mary pushed her bag to sit next to the couch against the wall and began looking through drawers. It seemed that whoever had been there before them hadn't packed anything up. There was still clothes laid across a chair, and papers on a desk in the corner of the room. She opened up a closet, finding nothing but male clothing. She sighed, grabbing a hoodie and pulling it over her. 

On a shelf at the top of the closet, was something she hadn't seen since the world had been normal. A small, wooden instrument. When she grabbed it, the strings sang. She knocked her knuckles against the ukulele with a smile. 

She leaned back, making sure that Daryl and Glenn were still in the bathroom, and then strummed a chord. Lori had bought her one when she was little, after she watched Rick play the guitar and wanted one of her own. She had learned about every song in the book that she could. 

She thought for a moment, trying to remember her old life, and began playing the chords. She cleared her throat, not ready to hear her own voice. She walked across the carpet in her bare feet before sitting down, cross-legged.

_"Who knows how long I've loved you, you know I love you still. Will I wait a lonely lifetime..."_

Her voice cracked, and she played the last chord, almost speaking the line.

_"If you want me to, I will."_

"What's that thing called?" 

Mary jumped, standing up, almost dropping the ukulele. Daryl was leaned against the wall, big arms crossed across his chest. Her mouth opened and then closed, not sure if she should talk or not. She grabbed a piece of paper from the desk, and wrote down the word, holding it up to him.

"Ucky-lee-lee?" 

She shook her head with a smile and sighed, setting down the instrument.

"U...ukulele." She said, maybe louder than she had ever said anything to him. He grunted, taking it from her hand. He strummed an open chord once.

"I don't like it."

She shook her head. "It's easy." She took his finger, putting it on the third fret of the E string. "Now..." She swallowed. "Now strum."

He did.

"C."

"See?"

"A C chord." 

"Oh." He sighed, handing her back the ukulele. "Where'd you find this?"

She pointed to the closet. He looked up, glancing over at the shelf, and stood on the tips of his feet to see what had been behind the ukulele. He let out a chuckle, reaching his arm up.

"Oh, lookie here." He held up an unopened pack of cigarettes, and a silver Zippo lighter. Mary had never smoked before, but she still smiled for him as he tore the plastic off, and put one in between his lips. He used his hands to cradle the flame as he lit the cigarette, and soon the cherry was glowing orange, smoke flying into the air and through the vents on the ceiling.

"Try one," He held up the pack. She shook her head.

"We're living in a damned apocalypse, you're young, you have to have a cigarette at least once. Now try one, girl." 

She looked up at him with resistance as she took one out of the box and carefully put it in between her lips. She was no stranger to the smell of tobacco or smoke, Rick was always smoking when she was a child, but she had always been told to never smoke herself.

She guessed if she was going to die prematurely, she might as well. Daryl used the lighter to light it for her, and she inhaled, letting out a big cough almost immediately. Daryl chuckled, blowing a smoke ring out into the air. The second time she inhaled was much smoother, with minimal coughing, and she blew the smoke into Daryl's face.

"There you go, did it better that time." He nodded, moving to sit on his couch. Mary sat down on hers, flicking the ash onto the floor carelessly. She was confused on why Daryl was being so kind to her, seeing as from his previous attitude she thought he completely hated her.

"Oh," Daryl leaned and grabbed something from his pocket. He handed it to her. "Your bandages. You left them in there."

Mary looked down at her knuckles, covered in scabs, and threw the bandages to the sides. There was no need to cover or bandage wounds like that anymore. She could show herself in this place, she was safe. Nothing would be exposed to her. 

They sat in silence, smoking until both of the cigarettes were put out on a nightstand near the couches. Glenn came out after almost an hour, sobered up from the shower and grinning.

"I brushed my teeth for like twenty minutes." He sighed out happily, plopping down onto his couch. Daryl stood.

"Guess it's my turn." He leaned down and flicked Glenn's head. "There best be some hot water left."

"Daryl, not even you being a dick could change my mood right now." 

He laid down flat on his back. Mary did the same, pulling a blanket over her. The lights were still on, but she assumed Daryl would turn them off when he returned. Once her body was lying down, she felt herself become exhausted, the energy from the shower fading away. She looked over at Glenn, who had been looking at her, his smile still never faltering.

"Don't tell the others, but I have hope for this place."

Mary smiled with a nod, and turned to face the cushion of the couch, whispering to herself more than anybody;

_"Me too."_


	10. .seven.

Mary had never known sleep to be so peaceful as it had been in the CDC.

She couldn't hear the growls of walkers, the screeches of animals, or the trees blowing in the wind. All she heard was Daryl's obnoxiously loud snoring, and the sound of Glenn turning over in the less than comfortable couches. Mary didn't mind, it was much more comfortable than a sleeping bag on the hard floor. 

It was almost hard to get up until Glenn was dragging her blanket off of her and informing that T-Dog made breakfast and that if she didn't get up, she wouldn't get anything.

Daryl had already been gone from the room, but she could see two more cigarettes put out on the nightstand next to hers. She got dressed quickly, into a large sweater that wasn't her own, and one of her old pairs of jeans from home, ones that she had saved for an occasion like living in a safe place. After freshening up, she finally left, to see that Glenn had been waiting outside for her. He winced with every step he took, and she could tell the alcohol had a lasting effect on him. 

Once they reached the dining area, Carl jumped out of his seat to hug his stepsister, running into her and jostling her rib injury a bit, but she endured it. 

"Morning!" 

She smiled, ruffling his hair. He led her to a seat next to him and Lori, and place a large plate of bacon in front of her. A smile spread across her face and she looked up at her stepmother.

"Real bacon." She nodded. "It's real."

Mary picked one up, taking a bite. Lori poured her a cup of orange juice, and one for Glenn, who had just sat down, pain spreading across his face once more. She patted his shoulder, and he groaned. 

"Morning," Rick announced as he came into the room.

"Are you hungover?" Carl asked him as he sat down. "Mom said you would be."

"Mom is right."

"Mom has that annoying habit." 

From behind a counter came T-Dog, a pain of sizzling eggs in his hand. He gave them to Glenn first, knowing the eggs would soak up the alcohol. Daryl poked fun at him, flicking his forehead while Glenn swatted his hands away to stop. Everyone gathered in at the table eventually, some still feeling too sick to eat. It wasn't until the doctor came in that everyone's mood changed, heads filled with questions.

"Doctor, I don't mean to slam you with questions first thing..."

"But you will anyway."

"We didn't come here for the eggs." 

It was settled. After breakfast, Jenner led them into the room with the large screen and began typing on a computer. The screen lit up with brain scans, and a human head, turning three-hundred-and sixty degrees, showing all of the nerves inside of their head.

"Few people ever got a chance to see this. Very few."

"Is that a brain?" Carl asked.

"An extraordinary one," Jenner responded with a smile. "Not that it matters in the end."

The camera on the screen moved to show the person lying on their back, and inside the brain, showing all the lights and vessels inside it. It glowed a blue light on everyone's faces, each person too shocked to look away.

"It's a person's life, experiences, memories. It's everything. Somewhere in all that organic wiring, all those ripples of light are you... the thing that makes you unique and human."

Mary sat down at one of the desks, watching the light traveled through, knowing that's what was going on in her own brain.

"You make sense ever?" Daryl asked, resulting in a bit of a chuckle from Jenner.

"Those are _synapses_ , electric impulses in the brain that carry all the messages. They determine everything a person says, does, or thinks, from the moment of birth to the moment of death."

"Death," Rick took a step forward. "That's what this is? A vigil?"

"Yes, or rather the playback of the vigil." He nodded. 

"This person died? Who?"

Jenner explained the person was a test subject, who had been bitten to submit to testing. Mary couldn't imagine volunteering to become such a terrible thing, but she admired it as Jenner had the screenplay the first event. 

The group watched as black worm-like nerves invaded the brain like a virus until the whole brain was lost. The human flailed and took its last breath, and Andrea let out a whimper, knowing that was what happened to her sister. 

The second event showed the resurrection. An orange light flowed through the black of the dead brain, starting up the brain stem but leaving the rest of the memories behind. The place that showed love, happiness, anger, it was all gone. 

"We had reports of it happening in as little as three minutes. The longest we heard was eight hours. In the case of this patient, it was two hours, one minute... seven seconds."

The body began to move, and then suddenly, a glowing light shot through the head. He had shot the patient before it could attack. Mary gasped, her hand rising to her mouth. She could see by the looks of Jenner's face that he had known that patient in more ways than one, especially in the way that he had closed his eyes when it happened.

"Vi, we're down the main screen and workstations." 

The screens turned down, and everyone was silent for a minute before Andrea stepped forward.

"You have no idea what it is, do you?"

"It could be microbial, viral, parasitic, fungal."

"Or the wrath of God?" Jacqui suggested. 

"There is that."

"Somebody must know something. Somebody somewhere."

Jenner explained that there had been other facilities, but that everything communicative had gone down. There was nothing left for them, nothing that he could do. 

Mary wasn't really surprised by it. She hadn't expected to find anything significant, not even a cure. This seemed like God's final punishment to humans, and that it would be a neverending Hell that they couldn't escape. She had accepted it long ago, but it seemed that people with hope for humanity hadn't. People like Rick. 

"Man, I'm gonna get shit-faced drunk again." Daryl murmured to himself, rubbing at his eyes.

"Dr. Jenner, I know this has been taxing for you and I hate to ask one more question, but... That clock, it's counting down. What happens at zero?"

Mary looked up at what Dale was pointing at, a giant, lit up timer, that had fifty-nine minutes left on it. She was surprised that she had never seen it. 

"The basement generators... they run out of fuel."

Mary stood up, looking at Jenner.

"And then?" Rick asked, but Jenner wouldn't answer, already starting to walk out of the room.

"Vi, what happens when the power runs out?"

_When the power runs out, facility-wide decontamination will occur._

That was it for Mary. She followed Jenner out of the room, boots slamming against the linoleum. When she met him down the hallway towards the bedrooms, she grabbed his shoulder, whipping him around. He towered over her, but she still pushed him. He didn't fight back, he didn't react. He just shook his head.

"There's nothing I can do for you." 

She pushed him again.

"I'm sorry." 

She pushed him ten times, maybe more. She hit him with her fists on his chest, tears streaming down her face. This was going to be a place where they could be safe, but instead, it would be a place where they starved and ran out of breath. She couldn't stop hitting him until someone was pulling her back by her shoulders. She tried to get to Jenner, but he walked off quickly, his lips in a straight line.

Daryl brought his foot underneath her legs, causing her to fall on her ass and stop flailing. She looked up at him, eyebrows knitted together. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? I feel like I ask you that every time I see you! He is our only chance at survival, you can't knock him out!" 

She didn't answer, bringing her knees up to her chest.

"Not only that but you gotta broken rib, are you goddamn dumb?"

" _Why do you care?_ " She whispered. Daryl turned to look at her.

"What?" 

"Why do... why do you... care?"

Daryl's mouth fell agape, maybe about to answer, when the lights turned out. They both looked at each other, and he helped her stand, both of them running in the direction to Dr. Jenner and the bedrooms. Everyone was coming out of their rooms.

"Why is the air off? And the lights in our room? Why is everything being turned off?"

"Energy use is being prioritized." He answered in a calm tone.

"Air isn't a priority?" Daryl questioned as he and Mary pushed past the group. "And lights?"

"It's not up to me. Zone 5 is shutting itself down."

"Hey! Hey, what the hell does that mean?" 

They followed him down into the screen room, Rick catching up with them halfway there. Jenner told them, a bottle of whiskey halfway to his lips, that the system was dropping all of its nonessential uses of power, and that the computers were top priority. 

Daryl grabbed the bottle of whiskey from Jenner, taking a big drink. Jenner told them that everyone in France had died this same way, and Carl began to cry. Mary looked at the clock. There were thirty minutes left.

Rick commanded everyone to go get their things, when a siren blared, the timer showing up on the screen. 

_30 minutes to decontamination._

Metal doors traveled up to keep them locked into the room. Mary grabbed onto Carl, kneeling down to hug him. 

"Did you just locked us in? He just locked us in!" Glenn exclaimed, walking towards one of the doors. Daryl tried to attack the man, who had sat down at the computer, but Shane held him back. They need to get the doctor to let them out, and they couldn't do that with him dead.

"Jenner, open that door now."

"There's no point. Everything topside is locked down. The emergency exits are sealed."

"Well open them!" 

"That's not something I control. The computers do. I told you once that front door closed, it wouldn't open again. You heard me say that. It's better this way."

"What is? What happens in twenty-eight minutes." 

Shane kicked his chair, and Jenner shot up, screaming in their faces so loud that spit flew into Mary's face as she watched him. 

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS PLACE IS? We protected the public from very nasty stuff! Weaponized smallpox, ebola strains that could wipe out half the country! Stuff you don't want to get out, EVER! In the event of a catastrophic power failure, in a terrorist attack, for example, H.I.T.'s are deployed to prevent any organisms from getting out."

He sat back down.

"H.I.T.'s?"

"Vi, define." 

_High impulse thermobaric fuel-air explosives consist of two-stage aerosol ignition that produces a blast wave of significantly greater power and duration than any other explosive except nuclear. The vacuum-pressure effect ignites the oxygen between 5,000 degrees and 6,000 degrees and is used when the greatest loss of life and damage to structures is desired._

"It sets the air on fire. No pain. An end to sorrow, grief, regret. Everything."

Mary shook her head. She couldn't believe it. She let go of Carl, letting him run to Lori, and ran towards the door, bringing her entire body weight against it. She pounded her fists hard that it broke the skin on her knuckles once more, but she couldn't feel the pain. Daryl yelled for her to run out of the way, and he threw the bottle of whiskey against it. It shattered at her feet. Shane used an ax. Nothing so much as left a scratch on the door. Even as Mary went back to pounding on it, her blood smearing against the metal. 

Jenner explained how they wanted everyone to be dead, and they didn't know it yet, but she didn't want to believe it. Nobody tried to stop her, she thought maybe they wanted her to get it open, that maybe she was their only hope. 

She knew it wouldn't open. She knew it. Even as Shane pointed a gun at Jenner's head, screaming in his face. He shot every computer and TV screen, but nothing worked. Mary slid her back against the door, burying her head in her hands. 

They were going to die. It was inevitable, but not like this. It isn't how she wanted it for any of them. 

"I think you're lying," Rick told Jenner. "You're lying about no hope. If that were true, you'd have bolted with the rest of them or taken the easy way out. You didn't. You chose the hard path. Why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does. It always matters. You stayed when the others ran. Why?"

"Not because I wanted to. I made a promise... to her... my wife."

Jenner's wife had been the test subject on the screen. He had stayed for her, to try and do something. 

Daryl walked towards Mary, sliding down to sit next to her, an ax in between his legs. Jenner was yelling about his wife, but Mary had it drowned out, the blood rushing to her ears. Rick begged for a chance, but she knew it was no use. She shut her eyes, tears flowing through. Even when she was about to die, she had no words. 

Then she felt an arm slide around her. Her eyes didn't open, she knew it was Daryl, but in her time of death, she didn't care. She leaned against him, eyes squeezed shut, waiting for her demise.

But as Daryl was about to accept his fate with her, their backs were falling through to the hallway. Daryl helped her up, his hand gripping hers, and it didn't leave it as they ran down the hall and towards the entrance.

They were the first to run out, pounding on the glass of the entrance, the emergency shutters not opening. The rest of the group caught up, banging on any piece of glass and doors they could. Rick whistled, throwing Mary a rifle, and she used a butt of it to bang at the glass, but it wouldn't break. 

"Rick, I have something that might help." Carol rushed over to Rick, holding a bomb in her hand. "Your first morning at camp, when I washed your uniform I found this in your pocket."

Rick smiled at Carol and yelled for everyone to get out of the way as he threw the bomb at the window. The glass shattered against Mary's skin from where she hid near the stairwell, and she looked up, feeling the hot air of Georgia against her. Daryl grabbed her arm, pulling and helping her jump out of the window. 

She looked around to make sure everyone had made it out, seeing that Dale and Jacqui weren't there. She wanted to go back, but she knew they wouldn't let her, especially with Daryl's tight grip on her arm. 

"There they are!" Lori yelled, seeing Dale and Andrea run out of the window. Mary and Daryl climbed into the RV, hovering from the window as the building exploded, orange light glowing before their eyes. Mary shivered as she watched the rubble of the building fall down slowly, but she also felt relief fill her heart that they had made it out alive. She looked at Daryl, whose chest was heaving and out of breath, and smiled. 

They had been given a second chance, one that she wasn't going to take for granted.


End file.
